Honesty in relationships makes us feel secure, because we know where we stand. Which leads me into the second reason to why honesty is a big deal in relationships. Your email address will not be published. Lying about your feelings or thoughts to prevent a conflict is counterproductive to a good marriage. It can be daunting to criticise your partner, but it is important to point out problems and talk about them openly – trying to avoid any quarrels! Both are extremely damaging to a relationship. - To make an appointment call 212-953-1388 or email irinafirstein@aol.com -, Irina Firstein, LCSW - Marriage & Couples Counseling, 370 Lexington Ave Suite 514, New York, NY 10017, 370 Lexington Ave, Suite 514, New York, NY 10017, Tips for Dealing With Empty Nest Syndrome. Especially if you are genuinely interested in your date. We all can appreciate when others are honest with us, and while there are times when you may need to cloud the truth during certain circumstances, personal honesty is generally best. The feedback was manipulated by the researcher to either be accurate or inaccurate and positively biased or not positively biased. Rule of thumb; if you’re aware that your partner is not comfortable with a certain gesture, do not do it. Applied Social Psychology: Understanding and Addressing Social and Practical Problems (2nd ed.). Being open lets you resolve conflict before it becomes overwhelming. Healthy and wholesome families know this to be true. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. In fact, it is your job to realize that when things turn dark, the only person your partner can rely on is you. No. It doesn’t mean … It is essential when discussing and making decisions about children, finances, work, and social life and without it, everything else is unstable and shaky. When we are honest with ourselves and our partner, we can experience the joy and excitement of living in a real relationship, where we are being chosen for who we are. If you don’t like something she says or does, discuss it calmly and respectfully to resolve the situation. Honesty is paramount in all relationships, and I am talking here about romantic relationships. Like I said before, it is absolutely necessary for both of the lovers to share what they expect from the relationship, what they like, what they’re okay with and what they’re not. So make the wise decision and share before its too late. I was recently interviewed for an article in a magazine about the importance of honesty in a relationship. Honesty gives understanding. You cannot build a bridge with twigs; you cannot base a relationship upon lies. READ MORE: 9 steps to get your dating confidence back. Applied Social Psychology (ASP). However, we are all different in our views and can learn how the other person thinks. Lying to your partner is a complete no, and so is hiding facts. Divorce Statistics ( n.d.). Not deceiving or lying to your partner is perhaps one of the most sensitive aspects of a relationship, where the slightest changes can make everything fall apart. We learn through experiences good and bad with those in our lives what honest words are effective in helping us to grow. Do you have something to hide? Avoid name-calling, disrespectful comments and bringing up ancient history. I see many couples in my practice who come in to deal with “trust issues.” Breach of trust is a major trauma to a relationship and we, therapists, call it “attachment trauma.” It means exactly as it sounds; it is a blow to a feeling of being connected, attached, loved, protected and cared for which are reasons why we seek romantic love, to begin with. By: Kathryn Rateliff Barr. When you love somebody and start a relationship, you sign an unwritten contract to be there for them no matter how many ups and downs comes through your way. Be compassionate and sincere in your approach whenever you’re having a conversation with your partner. Instead of hating or leaving your partner in their tough times, a loyal beau would stand still and provide support, encouragement, and compassion to the ones which matter to them most. Why Honesty in a Relationship is so Important? However, if you aren’t sure about your own expectations, then your partner will fail to understand you and this can cause major problems in the relationship. Willingly discuss your personal history, daily activities and future plans and goals so she understands you better. The ultimate proof of loyalty comes in being there for each other, even through the darkest times. Yet … It’s worthwhile, therefore, to always be yourself and allow yourself to be vulnerable. These simple steps can prove your loyalty to your partner. With almost half of first time marriages not surviving in the U.S., and marriage being the basic unit of family, it is important to the social and emotional health of our country that we take a look at what building blocks are vital to a lasting relationship. Don’t omit information she needs to draw the correct conclusion or focus on an insignificant fact to avoid a truth you don't want to admit. For example, “When I find your wet towel dropped on the floor, I feel like I’m living in a gym locker room.” You can follow with a request that he hang the towel up or place it in the hamper. When asked, be forthcoming with your true feelings and thoughts, likes and dislikes and your habits.