Something her trailer trash roots would never have thought possible. She doesn’t see her offspring as children who need love, attention, and care; rather, they are pawns in her scheme to secure a permanent position in the life of her military husband—or, more importantly, a cut of his paycheck and benefits. Well, I’m guessing that answer is going to depend a lot on the experiences of the one answering. And be warned. Armed with this useful information, you are now ready to go to your local military base and see if you can spot one of these creatures, but be warned—it will cause you to lose what little faith you may have left in humanity. If you have no idea what a “dependapotamus” is, check out the definition on Urban Dictionary: Dependapotamus: Traditionally a service-members dependent who is a “stay at home mom” that doesn’t do a damn thing all day besides sitting on the couch looking remarkably similar to Jabba the Hutt leaching off of military benefits and eating anything that gets too close. Those with any time spent in the deep labyrinth of the US military have first-hand accounts and know many a Joe who has fallen to these vicious leeches. The Dependapotamus, as scientists refer to them, are living potato sacks who will congregate at the local malls, dive bars, WalMarts, and under 21 night clubs in hopes of finding a … Military families who post photos on social media open themselves to this kind of ridicule from total strangers, especially if they’re overweight. For the most part, once they finish basic training, advanced individual training, and whatever additional schools they go to, they end up at their unit with more money in their bank accounts than they have ever possessed in their lives. Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog. For the sake of clarity, these descriptions tend to apply to males. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. So, after all that, what is a dependapotamus? Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday. When she does leave her den, the poorly bathed Dependopotamus will waddle very slowly to her car. There is a terrible parasite that can be seen throughout the military community in the United States. Well, I’m guessing that answer is going to depend a lot on the experiences of the one answering. She knows that military men have health insurance and if she can lock one down into marriage, she can get it too. She quits her job at Wal-Mart and never gets another, claiming to be too overwhelmed by the children. Plenty of stay at home moms and spouses do their part to be part of a healthy, symbiotic relationship—not a parasitic one. Or just a derogatory term used to put down other military spouses, empty of meaning outside of this mean-spiritedness? Is it a fat, lazy, benefits-seeking military wife? His main social circle is the men in his squad and platoon, most of who are also not locals. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. Discussing these hardships does not mean that a person thinks they have the same struggles as actual military members, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to discuss some of the difficulties of one’s own life—even if those difficulties are less than those of others. Fourteen hours and two stops later they landed on a hilltop near Quepos, Costa Rica. Conflicts over territory, religion, and ideals have spurred the most intense fighting this world has ever seen, and this list names but a few of them. Now, Joe is on lock-down in the barracks ordered by his chain of command. Well, that’s a bit less clear, and it's one of the things you should never say to a military wife anyway. It's one of the most common themes in human history, and as such, has been the focal point of many major aspects of the human condition, our cultures, and even the stories that we tell. A final note: While there’s understandable frustration within the military community regarding non-military members who act as though they themselves put in the same work and sacrifice as military members, there is a huge difference between this kind of social status-seeking spouse, and a military spouse who talks about some of the more difficult aspects of being married to someone in the military. Going from being broke to having a significantly higher level of expendable income is more than Joe’s fiscally illiterate mind can handle. She spurts out child after child. Another issue with the associations regarding what a dependapotamus is has to do with appearance. Yet she will insist on wearing her XXXL T-shirt with yellow pit stains on them that boldly proclaim to the world, “Army Wife: Hardest Job In The Army”—as if sitting on the couch while eating bonbons, fucking around on her iPhone, and watching Netflix as she lets the house get progressively dirtier can compare to being a real soldier.