Harris: All right, a cynic. I mean, what's with that accent? You should never have more than seven things on. L.A. Story is a 1991 satirical romantic comedy film about a "wacky weatherman" who, with the help of a talking freeway billboard, tries to win the heart of an English newspaper reporter, who is struggling to make sense of the strange world of early-90s Los Angeles.. Harris: Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. Ha ha ha. Carlo Christopher: No, I'd like a good one this time. “- Trudi: Isn't that girl Sara awful? Ted: Give me decaffeinated coffee ice cream. Now it's true, it's usually when I've hurt myself, but it's a start. I mean, it's not like New York, where you can meet someone walking down the street. Let us just say I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time. As he works his way through a couple of relationships (including a very funny one with a frisky Sarah Jessica Parker, who talks him into colonic therapy), he discovers a L.A. freeway sign that gives him romantic advice. Harris: I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day. They don't have expiration date or anything. You mean this has been going on since the '80s? This page was last edited on 28 June 2020, at 05:01. Harris: Are you kidding? Harris: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, I would turn the winds around, I would roll in the fog, I would bring in storms, I would change the polarity of the earth so compasses couldn't work, so your plane couldn't take off. Harris: Some of these buildings are over 20 years old. So what do you say, Roland? It helps him realize what he knows intuitively: that the British woman he is attracted to (Tennant) is the one he should pursue. SanDeE*: God, it really clears out your head. I mean, he's about to kiss her and she's pulling away. Anoint...". Harris: Head? Trudi: One of the first things I always teach my clients is about the point system. Sara: Because when men just break up with someone, they always run around with someone much too young for them. Harris: Well, I was thinking of taking you on a cultural tour of L.A. Sara: That's the first ten minutes, then what? Harris: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too. Harris: Oh yeah, and I really should take a bath... Monday? Quotes (54) Photos . “- Trudi: He said it's the first day of spring. Harris: Forget for this moment the smog and the cars and the restaurant and the skating and remember only this. Maitre D: You think that you can have the duck with a financial statement like this? A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true. https://en.wikiquote.org/w/index.php?title=L.A._Story&oldid=2816890, Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License. “- Sara McDowel: What did you have in mind? They’re beautiful. Anyway, this is what happened to me, and I swear, it's all true. Let me read to you from this book of poems: "O pointy birds, o pointy pointy. He said, "Hey... life is pretty stupid; with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much." Harris: When I really analyze it, Trudi wasn't for me anyway. Directed by Mick Jackson. Menu. I've seen a lot of L.A. and I think it's also a place of secrets: secret houses, secret lives, secret pleasures. Harris: No, it's not like milk. I'll be your robber. In fact, I know girls who speed just to meet cops. I mean, I had this thing in my hair before I left, remember? Harris: Oh shit! Harris: Oh, you're taking a course in conversation? Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: Your usual table, Mr. Christopher? But the best thing to do is, right before you go out, look in the mirror and turn around real fast, and the first thing that catches your eye, get rid of it. Roland: Sara just got off a plane from London. Harris: A sign spoke to me, said I was in trouble. My name is Bob. He said: "Hey, life is pretty stupid, with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much”. I want … “Some of these buildings are over 20 years old.”. The way the leg's sort of smashed up against her... Phew... Look how he's painted the blouse sort of translucent. Please start talking at the sound of the beep. Harris: Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends? Roland: I still say it's a place for the brain-dead. Directed by Mick Jackson.Written by Steve Martin. First stop is six blocks from here. Head? Sara: Why didn't you tell me you had just broke up with someone? Sara: Let your mind go and your body will follow. I'm in right now, so you can talk to me personally. They wish. Quotes.net. He says, if you turned off the sprinklers, it would turn into a desert. He said, "Hey... life is pretty stupid; with lots of hubbub to keep you busy, but really not amounting to much." He plays a L.A. TV weatherman who finds himself conflicted about what to do with his life, both professionally and personally. SanDeE*: Yeah, 'cause it's a lot harder than it looks. Harris: I don't think we should make love, all right? STANDS4 LLC, 2020. Roland: That's the difference between England and America. Sara: And if I were to go? But I think - I don't know, it's not what I expected. --Marshall Fine, https://www.quotes.net/movies/l.a._story_quotes_6359. Then of course you have the onlookers peeking at them from behind the doorway like they're all shocked. It's a place where they've taken a desert and turned it into their dreams. “- Harris K. Telemacher: SanDeE*, your... your breasts feel, Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. Harris: Let us just say: I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it, because I was so happy all the time. A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true. Trudi: Sheila has been studying the art of conversation. And no one is looking to the outside for verification that what they're doing is all right. Harris: So there I was jabbering at her about my new job as a serious newsman - about anything at all - but all I could think was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful and yet again, wonderful. Mulan First Reviews: Visually Stunning, Action-Packed, and More Mature Than the Original Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: I'm sorry, that is impossible. Harris: There comes a time in a person's life when it's now or never. Trudi: Sorry, I don't know gun etiquette. With Steve Martin, Victoria Tennant, Richard E. Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker. And no one is looking to the outside for verification that what they're doing is all right. Web. Well, it was a great lunch and enema, thanks. Trudi: If you're talking to signs, you are in trouble. This is an intellectual-free zone. I just wash my hands and I shake hands with some guy that feels like he's been squashing caterpillars. Carlo Christopher: Part of the new cruelty? Harris: I'll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon. With the help of a talking freeway billboard, a wacky weatherman tries to win the heart of an English newspaper reporter, who is struggling to make sense of the strange world of early 1990s Los Angeles. Harris: I'm not kissing anyone hello anymore. Now it's true, it's usually when I've hurt myself, but it's a start. The puppy is a bit too much, but you have to over look things like that in these kinds of paintings. Harris: There's someone out there for everyone - even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them. Steve Martin wrote this film as a meditation on both love and Los Angeles (and then-wife Victoria Tennant). 3 more photos Quotes [Admiring a painting] Harris : I like the relationships. You should go back in there and tell them they're doing it wrong. Sara: Roland thinks L.A. is a place for the brain-dead. Harris: All I know is, on the day your plane was to leave, if I had the power, … I mean, each character has his own story. It's really... pretty torrid, don't you think? Harris: I've been thinking about myself and I think I can become the kind of person that's worth you staying for. Marilyn Monroe did that. Sara: Oh no, I can't. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. In L.A. you practically have to hit someone with your car. “I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not.”, “Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment when love begins but we always know when it ends?”. L.A. Story is a 1991 satirical romantic comedy film about a "wacky weatherman" who, with the help of a talking freeway billboard, tries to win the heart of an English newspaper reporter, who is struggling to make sense of the strange world of early-90s Los Angeles. Crook: Hi. Of course I'm paraphrasing: "Life is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.". Sara: Yes, I'm shattered, but it's nothing that some sleep and a good f*** wouldn't cure, as my sister used to say. I've seen a lot of L.A. and I think it's also a place of secrets: secret houses, secret lives, secret pleasures. "L.A. Story Quotes." The best movie quotes, movie lines and film phrases by Movie Quotes .com First of all, I'm a man who can cry. Harris: Here, let me not drive for a while. Even if you. Open season on the L.A. freeway! Of course I'm paraphrasing: "Life is a, “All I know is, on the day your plane was to, “There's someone out there for everyone. Harris: Ah - low, sustained, booming noises. Sitting there at that moment I thought of something else Shakespeare said. You know, like your earrings count for two points, those daisies count for three points. First of all, I'm a man who can cry. A big cast (and lots of cameos) have fun with this witty (if slight) material and director Mick Jackson adds visual pizzazz. It's my damn testicles. I mean, what's with that accent? Sara: I keep thinking I'm a grown up, but I'm not. And I pulled it right out, 'cause as soon as I turned, gone! Mr. Perdue, Maitre D' at L'Idiot: I'm afraid so. Harris: Oh, like that big phony, Winston Churchill. Sharon: Whatever you do, don't get dumped in L.A. “- Harris K. Telemacher: Ordinarily, I don't like to be around interesting people because it means I have to be interesting too. Forget for this moment the smog and the cars and the restaurant and the skating and remember only this. Harris: She has an accent because she's English. I love Los Angeles. Morris: I'll have a double decaf cappuccino. . SanDeE*: Um, it's just a model who speaks, you know, and she points at things like merchandise, you know, like a car or washer and dryer. Harris: She's not so young. The way he's *holding* her... it's almost... filthy. The puppy is a bit too much, but you have to over look things like that in these kinds of paintings. Sometimes it's something really small, you know, like, like a book or fine art print. I've been on a plane for twelve hours next to a crying baby.